LifeQuake™
Ask the LifeQuake™ Doctor
Dr. Toni Galardi
Dear Dr. Toni:
I am twenty-two years old. I have been suffering from Anorexia Nervosa for seven years. For a long time I hid it from my parents. I wore baggy clothes. I pretended to eat by pushing the food around on my plate. It got so bad that I had to drop out of college because I couldn’t concentrate. I have been to therapists but it hasn’t helped. My parents are upset with me and are very worried. In a weird way, I don’t see the problem. Audrey Hepburn was rail thin in the 1950s, and no one thought there was anything wrong with her! I do eat enough. I am not hospital material, believe me. I am just very thin. Is it really so bad to be thin?
Skinny and Happy
Dear Skinny:
Well, let’s first talk about what the difference is between skinny and anorexic. Some people are born with the kind of metabolism where they burn fat very easily, so being slender is their natural state. Sarah Jessica Parker is an example of this. She has always been thin because of her fast metabolism, and has actually come out and made public statements about prejudice toward overweight people.
While we are on the celebrity topic, you mentioned Audrey Hepburn, who had been a dancer and was known to follow the strict dieting rules of ballerinas in order to stay thin.
I realize I am theorizing here, but I do think there is a link between her dying of colon cancer and what she may have done to her digestive system by not eating enough.
So to get back to this distinction between skinny and anorexic, I want to say this: although both may look the same, the diagnosis of anorexia involves certain deep psychological issues. There are some in the field of psychology who believe it is caused by the fear of growing up and developing womanly characteristics. Some believe it begins in early childhood due to improper bonding with mother. Some believe it can come from pressure inside the family to look a certain way.
All these theories may apply in some cases, but I personally like to look at this anthropologically. When you look at the increase in the number of admissions into eating disorder facilities over the last ten years, it parallels with the increase of opiate addictions, alcoholism, and other chemical dependencies. The admiration our society heaps on people being thin very much speaks to our collective neurosis.
To be unnaturally thin, one must deny nurturing one’s self. Over the past twenty years we have become a nation devoted to self soothing through external means. No one wants to struggle or feel pain so they turn to addictive substances to both quell pain and nurture the self through the avoidance of turning within for self soothing.
Anorexia Nervosa is a spiritual crisis between the negative ego with its addiction to image and the soul’s cry to be fed through authentic expression of self. Anorexics lie. They lie to everyone around them to maintain control over their bodies, but more importantly, they ignore the deep longing from the soul to experience identity from one’s character–not from one’s image. In many ways, it is a journey of re-parenting one’s self to learn to listen to that authentic voice from within.
Although this illness is very physical in its manifestation, we can all learn from these individuals by looking at where we starve ourselves emotionally and spiritually.
How do you give yourself soul food?
Spend time in meditation every day for twenty minutes, and you will self soothe in a way that your soul becomes replenished. Not everyone can just zone out in meditation, so I recommend for those who can’t, to put aside twenty minutes in which you simply get quiet, breathe into your body until you feel more relaxed and then ask your inner child what it needs from you today.
Ask, what does this child need to hear as well as what do you need to do that will comfort and support this part of you?
You may not think you are hospital material, Skinny, because you are not medically underweight enough to require intravenous feeding. However, in-patient facilities that are focused on eating disorders allow you to spend time in an intensive way getting to the root of what is driving your addiction. Two facilities in southern California that are devoted to this are Montecatini in Carlsbad and Monte Nido in Malibu.
To submit questions for Ask the LifeQuake™ Doctor, contact Dr. Toni Galardi through DrToni@LifeQuake.net (no period after the Dr). For those seeking private consultation, Dr. Toni can be reached at 310-712-2600 or her new secondary practice in San Diego at 619-819-6400, or www.LifeQuake.net.