Mindstates
Conscious Creation
Realizing Your Best Life
by Deb Eubank
When we look for happiness outside of ourselves, whether it is physical, material or from others’ approval, a void will exist. However, when your true desire is anchored from a sense of self-love and acceptance, then true happiness can be experienced.
A beautiful illustration of this occurred when a client came to me frustrated that she had done all the “right things” to manifest her desires, yet despite her best efforts to create a dream board and take conscious actions toward those desires, the results were not materializing and she judged herself for being a failure—once again. Having experienced enough pain and frustration, she was ready to consider another approach.
The first point of focus was to tell my client the truth—that the way she feels about herself has an absolute direct correlation to all results manifest in her life. I explained that we can look closely at each area of her life and the results will tell a story and have a theme linked back to her thoughts and beliefs of self.
I told her that without question, she is a powerful and beautiful person (spirit) and she needed to learn this and embrace it. I suggested she start by choosing more loving and kind words when speaking about herself. I also suggested that she begin by being her own best friend and to talk to herself in the same supportive way in which she’d speak to someone for whom she cared deeply.
With this new approach, the next focus was to find out what her desires were and why they were so important to her.
I had her look at her dream board and for each picture ask, “What would having this provide for me?”
One of her desires was to have a shiny, new, red sports car because she said, “it would just be fun!”
So I asked her, “Where in your life are you currently having fun?”
Her response was telling. She said, “(Having fun) would be the hardest thing you would ever have me do.”
This spoke volumes about how she viewed her life.
The very reason why she wanted the sports car was missing in her life and clearly exploring this uncovered one of the most common limiting beliefs of humankind: that when we get there we will be happy. Until then, we don’t deserve to have_____ (fill in the blank).
In my client’s case, it was that she didn’t deserve to have fun until she proved that she was good enough. Not attaining her goal of a new sports car caused her much frustration and self criticism, further supporting her limiting belief of not being worthy or deserving of what, in this case, truly would bring her some joy and peace—fun. Once she created her “fun list” filled with activities (i.e. going to the movies, walking her dog, dancing, crafts, reading, listening to music, eating gummy worms, etc.) that she could choose from on a daily basis, she had a new found sense of self.
Once she identified this essence and began to make conscious choices to integrate it into her current reality, she realized that there was actually “nowhere” to get. She was already there.
I call this process, “Vision Coaching,” which may seem contradictory, however, creating a “Vision” with the intention to live it NOW ultimately supports one to connect to a deeper level of self and thus live a more joyous and abundant life.
Furthermore, once you have started to enjoy your life now, it is amazing how this new, higher vibrating energy begins to attract more of what you desire. It may not look the way it was originally defined; however, the essence will be realized.
The truth is that nothing outside of yourself is ever going to bring true happiness, but, if you ask yourself why achieving a certain goal is so important you will tap into the deeper inner truth and yearning of your soul.
It is important to mention, however that the desire for a pretty, new red sports car, a physical structure (form), is neither good nor bad. What is most important is to understand why this desire exists, from a deeper core level and how having it will positively affect your life. The sports car would never, in and of itself, provide you inner peace and joy, however, from this vantage point, you can then take a more structured approach to setting intentions, goals, and daily actions to live in alignment now while creating a very attractive energetic pull to consciously create and manifest more of what you desire. You will also see that you can live in gratitude today.
It has never ceased to amaze me—the transformations that I am fortunate enough to observe in my clients’ lives when they make the shift from “when I get there I will be happy”, to integrating the essence of their desires into their every day lives now. They still have goals, they still set objectives, but the difference is the detachment from the results because they are already living with the peace and joy they get from loving themselves and experiencing the essence of their vision and desires.
Debby Eubank can be reached at 619.820.9999 and at